Friendship is important. Good friends can help you when you are in a stressful situation. They are there when you need help or, when you simply need to talk. A good friendship is also very important to your mental health. Therefore, it is important to have a healthy relationship. I give you here 5 signs which should alarm you if you find them in your friendship.
1- You are more implicated in the friendship than the other.
A relationship (friends just like lovers) must be in both directions. You must not be the only person making efforts and, giving of you and of your time to the other. If the other person is always telling you her issues, asking for help but is never there when you need help, there is no balance in the friendship. The lack of reciprocity is an alarming sign. Another example is the birthday gift. You realize that you are always putting more efforts when it come to the other one’s birthday. On the other hand, the other person is never implicated in your birthday or not as much as you are.
2- You do things you don’t want to do.
Another alarmin sign is if you are being used. a basic example can be that every time you go out, you are the one paying. You are always spending money on them during your outings, but the other person never does or in very rare occasions. However, you continue to do so because you believe that you must preserve this friendship.
3- You are in a friendship which does not bring you anything positive.
You were maybe two individuals who could not live without each other but as you grow up or slightly go in different directions, you do not see what this friendship brings you anymore. If you do not push each other in being better or encourage each other in doing good or better things as time goes on, it is maybe time to grow apart.
4- You don’t like spending time with them.
Spending time with this person becomes a burden instead of being a happy moment. You even feel better when they tell you that a plan needs to be cancelled. One of the reasons could be that you do not like the way you are around this person. You realize that you are not fully yourself: you are either the worst version of yourself or, a totally different person. This makes you realize that you don’t like yourself being around her.
5- They put you down to give themselves more value.
There is nothing worse than someone who lacks confidence and put their insecurities on you. They criticize every decision you make in order to make you feel bad. Those critics are not only on your choices of life but also on your physical appearance. They want to show you that no matter what you will do, you will be less than them because they do not support your evolution and progress in life.
If you recognize some of those signs or all of them, you are probably in a toxic friendship. you can decide to talk about it to the person or to take your distance with her if you see that no change is made.
Don’t hesitate to seek for help to your relatives, for instance, if you feel that the situation is more difficult.
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